Category Archives: i-Reflect

i’m in there somewhere. i know i am.

“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves.”
~ François de La Rochefoucauld ~

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Posted by on September 25, 2015 in i-Reflect


what we stand for and its hypocracy

i just spent a weekend watching ppl throw cooked food remains and pieces of bread into the ocean so they can see the fish scurry up to feed. some white bellied sea eagles scooped in on the action too. i think we shouldnt feed wild animals. and i told the dive instructor not to do it and he jutted back with a “why? you tell me why?”

his tone made me reconsider why i made that request to not feed the fish. afterall, The SB didnt stop when i told him to not feed the stray dogs. he said it’s good karma.

perhaps it’s my view that is wrong. on a liveaboard, we shower and the soap water goes into the ocean. food scraps get thrown into the ocean too. i need to eat. and the remains get thrown into the ocean too. who am i kidding?

so is it wrong to feed the fish and the dog?

i think i wont tell ppl not to feed animals anymore, cos i myself am not perfect.

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Posted by on May 3, 2015 in i-Reflect


Protected: where’re the footprints?

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Posted by on March 7, 2015 in i-Reflect


when things make sense

something strange tends to happen to my brain when The SB is out of contact. it’s as though my neurones awaken. the first time he was out of contact (while out diving the SS Yongala), i realised i missed him and wanted to talk to him abt something that had come up. he’s away for 6 days this time round.

something that i had held steadfast in my philosophy for over a decade is that ppl dont care. ppl generally dont care. they are selfish and they basically dont care. so on thursday, in response to a casual question, i repeated my philosophy to a group of strangers that ppl dont care. and for some funny reason, i thought to myself, “thats not true.” i hadnt realised that i had changed my opinion of ppl. i walked home that day thinking of all the ways in which The SB had shown that he cares. that he cares not because he is afraid of what the world will think. but because he just cares. i thought about how his family invited me into their homes, and i thought “they care for me because they love him”. i thought my parents care, in whatever ways they know, however they know. you know what i realised?

i realised The SB taught me that ppl do care, without forcing me to believe that ppl do care. this man is someone special. he made a rock melt. he made me feel safe being vulnerable. he showed me how it feels like to be treated right. my man is someone really special. <3

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Posted by on September 28, 2014 in i-Love, i-Reflect


Protected: a timely reminder

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Posted by on August 5, 2014 in i-Reflect


i am mountain

I am mountain, I am dust
Constellations made of us
There’s glory in the dirt
A universe within the sand
Eternity within a man

~lyrics by Gungor~

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Posted by on November 12, 2013 in i-Reflect


to justify a wrong-doing

i recently had a conversation with a stranger abt extra-marital affairs. he said, “ppl do it as a stress-relief”. i’ve never seen it in that light until that instance when he made that statement. husbands go home to a nagging wife who complains all evening abt how she has to do bla bla bla. the husband chooses not to respond because he’s already tired of years and years of blabbering….. when it gets to such a state, perhaps the route many choose is to be immoral. and like The SB said, “regret later”.

ppl dont become like that overnight. its a long process and when an attractive opportunity comes along, its a great way to escape. its sad that things get to such a state. perhaps instead of blaming either party, both sides should prevent such a situation with proper communication and emotional transparency. and perhaps more importantly, self-awareness of how an individual’s behaviour is affecting the relationship. it does take 2 to clap.

my cousin recently found out that her husband is having an affair. poor girl. now she has ppl who are on both sides of the ‘next step’. neither does she have the ability to make a decision on her own. ppl in different parts of the world have grown up with different ideas and thoughts and perceptions of how a girl should be. she tells me, “it depends on the girl whether the marriage is happy”. i tell her, “it depends on BOTH the girl and guy”. ppl have and will start to blame her for her possibly failed marriage. frankly im tired of this female-blaming culture. if the girls themselves dont take a stand, nothing much will change and the society will continue this abuse. i wont fall victim to this.

also just read an article abt the ‘last statements’ of a few criminal who were on the death row.

one of the last statements read:

“Yes, Love you mom, love you pop, love you Sara, and Amanda. Um, Cathy you know I never meant to hurt you. I gave you everything and that’s what made me so angry. But I didn’t mean to hurt you. I am sorry. That’s it.”

it takes alot of mental strength to walk away from converting that murderous thought into action. alot of mental strength to restrain from doing something which you might later regret. like that The SB said abt extra-marital affairs. thats all it comes down to isnt it. wait out the emotion and think beyond what you are feeling at the immediate instance before deciding on an act.

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Posted by on October 28, 2013 in i-Reflect


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