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Category Archives: i-Reflect

a year on

i hadn’t done a year end post in 2017. alot had happened then and alot has happened in 2018. how time flies this fast, i dont know. so here’s my 2 yrs in summary

moved into my own flat
resigned from school in Singapore
started working overseas
climbed rinjani (almost)
dived deeper (43m)
got engaged
saw my first manta
finally saw a whale shark
got married

today, i chatted with a ex colleague who dropped me off at the MRT station. He asked how my parents were doing. I said they are getting old. it’s easy enough to keep parents off your mind when you’re away from them but the reality is, and deep inside you know, they are getting old and less able. i remember a few years ago when my dad came down to help me replace a flat tyre. he was huffing and puffing. the once strong man was getting weak. he is even weaker now. he’s rested for a few months, started swimming, walking alot more, even climbed bukit timah hill. good on him.

my mom is getting more and more forgetful. she’s held on to this life of hers for a long time, kept going. and must still keep going. it’s a case of i want to do more, but it’s also the case of everything else that makes you say “tomorrow”.

meanwhile, i’m still facing uncertainties, but i’m a bit less uncomfortable, cos we know roughly what will happen. at least there’s a plan. there was a question i frequently ask myself. where would my self worth come from if i wasn’t earning. it’s a discussion i’ve had with a few people. some said self-worth comes from knowing you’ve accomplished something. now accomplishing something means different things to different people. to an employee, it’s completing the job for the day. what if i wasn’t working. to a mother, it’s making sure her child gets her best. what if i wasn’t a mother. is it really that much of an accomplishment to stay at home and keep the house clean and cook food for the day? i suppose at the end of the day, it’s our own mindset. and the mindset of our partner. being financially independent is what ive been taught, grown up with. what more with a mortgage loan to pay. it’s important to me that im financially independent, that much i know. so all in good time, i’ll figure something out. you know why? COS I STILL WANNA DIVE AND CLIMB AND KAYAK AND DO FUN STUFF! #igotmyprioritiesright 😀

in all, 2017/2018 has been an eventful year.

what adventures 2019 will bring is still up for grabs!

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Posted by on December 18, 2018 in i-Happy, i-Reflect

 

Protected: time heals

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Posted by on December 28, 2017 in i-Reflect

 

if he wanted to be with you, he would

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/02/if-he-wanted-to-be-with-you-then-he-would-be/

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2017 in i-Reflect

 

the everyday love

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2017 in i-Reflect

 

remember

“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?” Danielle LaPorte

 
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Posted by on December 12, 2016 in i-Reflect

 

When the INFP/J stresses out

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2016 in i-Blabber, i-Reflect

 

In search of the quiet

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This photo was taken in bohol in june this yr by kayakasia.

Came across the photo while scrolling thru fb. To me, the photo speaks of quiet. of peace and quiet. Contrary to what i was feeling that day.

That day, we did a 19km sea crossing and the current was against us the whole time. It was my first time attempting the 4 day kayak trip on a single sea kayak. I was the slowest and i was the last. Often times i was alone too, save for the times when 2 ppl took turns to hang around me in case i couldn’t manage. That day, i heard among the harshest words in my head. I wanted to give up and i didnt think i could make it. Several other negative thoughts passed my mind, of things that didn’t even relate to my paddling against the current. I made it to the shore in the end. 2hrs after the first guy reached, 20 min after my friend reached. I was proud of myself for not giving up.

This year has been a mental struggle for me. But i have through worse and made it out. I will make it through this one too. I will make it through to the quiet.

Just keep paddling.

 
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Posted by on September 14, 2016 in i-Learn, i-Reflect

 
 
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