i will do neither
Category Archives: i-Miss
in a few days, i will be landing in changi airport, seeing the worlds, “Welcome Home” above the queue for Singaporeans. i’m not entirely sure how i’ll feel. im guessing i’ll be sad that this experience has come to an end. 10 days after that, i’ll be in a new sch…. working my ass off.
somehow, the start of the 1.5yr journey in jcu seemed massive. i had a whole degree ahead of me. a whole 3 months of work. a whole new country to explore. now, i feel so comfortable in Australia, with their customs and practices. hell, im even starting to get political jokes. haha…
the experiences ive had here will nonetheless be part of me, what ive done, who i am and who i want to be.
ppl have been leaving one by one. and so this parting process has eased in. its not a sudden loss, but a slow gradual one that gained acceptance. most of my friends have left this ghost town. as my goodbye date draws near, im starting to feel a little anxious. it is afterall back to reality. im leaving this dreamland… having gone through this holiday, i feel like i dont want to be stuck back in a sch system, having to work for ladder-climbing bosses. i might have become one of those who wants to work elsewhere. Singapore is still home, but, there is so much of the world to experience. touring isnt going to do it much justice.
ive been surprisingly positive abt The SB and me. not once have i broken down. ive been enjoying my last 4 weekends with him. he’s still got work to do. i still had a final report to write. so it worked out fine. writing this, suddenly, i remember how hard it was for me to be apart from him when i was away for the 9 weeks in dec 2012. the last 3 of the 9 weeks were especially hard because he was at his brother’s house somewhere up in the mountains and had not enough connection for skype. fb was all we had and he isnt even much of a typer. i remember when i finally landed in tsv and he called my phone, i had tears after hearing him say, “hello”. i didnt know how much i missed hearing his voice.
it worries me that either of us will get frustrated at the times when skype doesnt work. or the times i go paranoid wondering if he misses me as much as i miss him just because he isnt one to verbalise stuff like that. but i know he cares for me. and im grateful for this experience that i had long forgotten and given up on anyways.
more than friends, he is the one im going to miss the most. and not knowing IF we will ever meet again is tough. ive stayed in tsv for as long as i could. im keeping my fingers and toes crossed that we mean enough to each other that we will hang in there till the time comes when we can meet again. as much as this aussie experience has been abt mtg ppl from different backgrounds and cultures, fulfilling my interest in marine biology, learning different techniques, making contacts, etc….. the large part of my life here has been falling in love. and that is a memory i’ll carry with me. Thank you SB for making this memory beautiful.
my last 10 days with you in this ghost town will be very much appreciated. ❤
i hate goodbyes.. i really do.
i wish happy things could stay the same forever, but, reality and possibly new experiences await.
it’s been an exciting change, an exhilarating ride with the bunch of ppl ive gotten to know over the past 1.5 yrs. once again, time has come to say goodbye to ppl – most of whom i’ll probably never meet again.
i wish everyone all the very best! may you succeed in all your aspirations!
it’s freakishly scary leaving not knowing when we’ll get to meet each other again. it’s horrendously, freakishly, ridiculously scary and it makes me feel like im going to go berserk..