Author Archives: misspegasus
This photo was taken in bohol in june this yr by kayakasia.
Came across the photo while scrolling thru fb. To me, the photo speaks of quiet. of peace and quiet. Contrary to what i was feeling that day.
That day, we did a 19km sea crossing and the current was against us the whole time. It was my first time attempting the 4 day kayak trip on a single sea kayak. I was the slowest and i was the last. Often times i was alone too, save for the times when 2 ppl took turns to hang around me in case i couldn’t manage. That day, i heard among the harshest words in my head. I wanted to give up and i didnt think i could make it. Several other negative thoughts passed my mind, of things that didn’t even relate to my paddling against the current. I made it to the shore in the end. 2hrs after the first guy reached, 20 min after my friend reached. I was proud of myself for not giving up.
This year has been a mental struggle for me. But i have through worse and made it out. I will make it through this one too. I will make it through to the quiet.
Just keep paddling.
“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves.”
~ François de La Rochefoucauld ~
home alone after the dive trip, and im quite enjoying the quiet to myself. so here’s some updates abt stuff.
dad went to the philippines for a month. his taxi contract was over and he wanted a break for a long time so he’s out there. he’ll be back in the next few days, i hope he was happy being away from the stresses of home and family. a few months ago, he has an A&E situation. i had to drive dad to NUH for an emergency, they suspected a heart attack, but couldnt pinpoint the cause. dad doesnt want to take the medication cos one of the side effects is memory loss. although i havent talked to anyone abt it, it kinda freaks me out. that one day dad will reach a situation where he needs to be under constant care.
mom fell and broke her knee cap a week after granddad died (aka deepavali). she’s finally back to work. for a week now. i’m so happy she’s gotten back to keeping herself busy cos i think she’s gonna lose her mind if she’s constantly thinking abt dad and bro and me, and all of us being useless ppl.
mom has started looking for brides for my brother. i dont understand how this can work, given my brother is so shy. shouldnt marriage stem from love? i dont suppose this is wrong anyway.. i mean, ppl can always marry and then love right? good luck for their search, and i hope all ends well.
about me? ive had a busy few weekends. dived this weekend. last weekend i climbed mount ophir. the weekend before i was with The SB in KL for his birthday. work’s alot better. Im not doing work on weekends. and maybe cos this is my honeymoon year, i havent been given much at work. so im happy being able to prepare and teach and mark and do the kind of stuff teachers do. (ie: im enjoying not having extra responsibilities). things are changing though. they are coming up with a staff appraisal system and etc…….. but hey, it’s work. and i might move. so, not putting too much emotion into it. and yes, ive given up the idea of a condo. it’s way beyond my pay scale. so i decided to get a HDB and move out in july next yr. the hurt my dad feels probably made him turn to my brother instead of me. i think dad has given up on me too. but hey, im hanging on!! cos i am a life worth living too!! ppl are laughing at my idea of setting up a prata-dog shop somewhere in the south pacific. i honestly wish i could at least try. i wont be getting any support from anyone, but maybe if i want it bad enough, i dont need anyone to support me. i’m fully capable of trying something, even if it doesnt work out in the end and The SB says, “i told you so”. lol!!!!! that would be funny though! seeing me man a prata-dog stall! hahaha!!
Oh i managed to find a youtube video on Anne of Green Gables!!!!!!!!!!! yayeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so happy to watch it. it was a literature book from sec 1. i really enjoyed the movie back then cos it gave me hope that someone who no one liked could becomes someone everyone loved.😀 i even named my diary after the name she wanted to be called; Cordelia. hahaha oh me… lol!
the world is in a mess as usual.
Nepal had an earthquake. i feel sad for the ppl living there, mostly cos adventure climbers can always go back home, but the Nepalese have to live with the conditions for a long time. RIP for those lives lost, and i hope the survivors can continue living to honour everyday.
Australia is not happy with Indonesia now. It’s like kids throwing tantrums. If it’s an Indonesian law, it’s a law meant to be followed. drug offenders if convicted get executed and no matter how much pleas are thrown in, a country can be bias and give privileges to certain countries. Although i do think that Indonesia could have given then the pardon due to fantastic reformation and gave then life imprisonment instead. but hey, a sentence is passed with the intention that it will be carried out. can’t play with the integrity of the system.
guess what! another sighting of my favourite animals in SG waters! yay!!i havent seen them yet, but some birders happened to spot them while doing a bird survey! cool!
a plane crashed into the alps cos a nutcase of a pilot decided to commit suicide, taking 150 ppl with him. shit fellow. he will forever be remembered as an idiot.😦 sorry for the ppl who died in vain. and for the famillies that have to live with the pain of a meaningless loss of life.
oh, much to my surprise, The SB and I actually have almost the whole year planned. we’re mtg in september and dec. i wish we’ll meet for my birthday in july. cos all i want is a hug and kiss from him on my birthday. oh well…. the time will come. in the meantime, i’ll settle for material stuff. hehe…
someone’s birthday is getting celebrated in the block opposite! Happy Birthday whoever you are!!! have a blessed year!!
alright…. im off to continue with my life. so till next time!
i just spent a weekend watching ppl throw cooked food remains and pieces of bread into the ocean so they can see the fish scurry up to feed. some white bellied sea eagles scooped in on the action too. i think we shouldnt feed wild animals. and i told the dive instructor not to do it and he jutted back with a “why? you tell me why?”
his tone made me reconsider why i made that request to not feed the fish. afterall, The SB didnt stop when i told him to not feed the stray dogs. he said it’s good karma.
perhaps it’s my view that is wrong. on a liveaboard, we shower and the soap water goes into the ocean. food scraps get thrown into the ocean too. i need to eat. and the remains get thrown into the ocean too. who am i kidding?
so is it wrong to feed the fish and the dog?
i think i wont tell ppl not to feed animals anymore, cos i myself am not perfect.