of things that remind me of stuff

09 Jun

very few ppl have the talent to express a whirlpool of emotions with just a sentence. “I Wrote This For You” is one of them. as an avid follower, when i go back for updates, i smile when i recall how certain instances made me feel.

2010/2011 saw me being quite rebellious at work. its when i started realising that doing bosses work was not compatible with my vision abt my job. when i realised that my happiness was more important than awards, i knew i needed a break.

i’d learnt to accept that a person will be forgotten at some point in time. no matter how much time you spent with someone working on projects, presentations, gossiping abt things, ppl leave. its a facet of life, and the best a person can do is to make it to the history books. and most dont. they just become someone who existed at some point in the universe. life goes on.

Taking on multiple roles, at one point, im sure i felt like i was what everyone wanted me to be. until i figured out that a person can mould himself to suit the situation (thats versatility), but he should never lose track of who he actually is.

i was one of those who used to talk to the stars. it gave me comfort, cos i couldnt speak to anyone else. at the very least, when the wind blew as i stood by the window, i felt its embrace, a much needed hug when i felt so alone. no, the stars were there for me, that much i believed. that part of my life was hard, probably for the both of us. but, it taught me to be independant and to not expect of others. that was when i cried myself to sleep at night, and smile at work. because at work, i was who i wanted to be. that was also when i learnt strength and resilience. and learnt that who i am is different from what i did/didnt do. ppl make mistakes, thats part of growing up. i shouldnt have to sacrifice the rest of my life.

by 2010, i started to feel proud that i was totally comfortable with my decision that  i wont get hurt if i dont go for anyone. but, yea, perhaps thats nothing to be proud of, cos numbing the part of you that makes you feel alive isnt exactly healthy..

and it eventually became a promise to myself. that i will never let anyone make me feel like being myself is not good enough and i didnt need anyone’s approval to feel good abt myself.

but for some reason, someone did feel i was good the way i was. i unexpectedly started caring for someone who’s been so gentle with me. and made me wonder if i should give myself a chance because you dont feel this way abt every person you meethe woke up my heart. although the distance we are going to experience worries me, scares me, makes me nervous. one more day, is still not enough.

at the end of the day, everything became an experience and a life is lived. or being lived i should say. im glad i woke up and decided life is meant to be lived. and i really dont want to lie on my death bed wishing i had done more.

post dedicated to “I Wrote This For You”

Ive been a fan for 3 yrs now! they have now decided to pursue other avenues of writing and i with them all the best.

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Posted by on June 9, 2013 in i-Remember


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