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you have to protect yourself

02 Apr

“…left over when we finally decided to smash all the things we thought we used to be.

and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, well, get a better mirror,

look a little closer, stare a little longer,

cos there’s something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit

you built a cast around your broken heart inside of yourself

decided they were wrong.

cos how can you hold your ground if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it

you have to believe that they were wrong

they have to be wrong.

why else, would we still be here?”

that reflection in the mirror was a hard thing to see for many years. i used to describe myself in the worst possible manner looking at the reflection so that when i got called names, it wouldnt hurt as bad. pointed to the reflection and said things abt it everyday until i started believing it. and then i started to look away because i believed the reflection i saw was a bitch. those were the days i’d brush my teeth or wash my face without seeing the mirror cos the only voices i heard were of those telling me that i was no where near good enough and that i was a pathetic lowlife and absolutely worthless and useless..

i have come a long way. i dont ever want to feel that way abt myself again. wont allow myself to be that person again. it was a big struggle to switch and learn to see the positive side of me. at mid-life, i had learnt that someone’s perception of me does not define who i am or what im capable of. likewise, my perception of others.

people make mistakes. and its ok to make mistakes. thats how we learn. thats how we become who we are. thats how we know what we want to be. its been a long journey, but, ive learnt so much over the years and i’m happy with they way i am now. i’m ok with being me now. even if that is not good enough for others. i am good enough for me.

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Posted by on April 2, 2013 in i-Reflect

 

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