Sometimes I just want to walk out of the door and into the rain on a cold dark night. And walk and walk until I start to feel cold. And then sit by a platform on the roadside and just hug myself. Cos getting through the cold night alone means you can go through life alone. That’s to remind myself why I had learnt to be independent and not rely on anyone else. Cos ppl just disappoint. It’s just so much easier when you just trust yourself and do things by yourself. At the very least, you know you are one person you can depend on. How did I forget that?
ps: not being emo, but after these many yrs of training myself to not expect of others. cos diff ppl have diff agenda and their own rationale and own reasons for their decisions. i cant blame anyone. i wonder why i let myself lapse.