i find myself being rather obsessed with relationships and all………. especially hard this year because……. well…… we know..
i used to go back and visit my sec sch until my first semester in uni. after that i stopped. reason being, most of the teachers i knew had either left or werent around at that time i could visit. for the couple i got to see, we spoke a few words… i wasnt the best of students. i was a lazy kid, choosing to do the minimum unless i really needed to get something done.. the couple of those i spoke to remembered me, but it wouldnt have mattered to them whether i came to see them or not.
so when many of the trs leave, many of their ex students wouldnt see a point in coming back. why would they want to come back when the ppl they want to see arent around? just like when i go back to my sec sch, i cant identify with it anymore cos there are just too many changes.
a new principal is coming to my sch. with that, changes are definite. what keeps the culture of a sch going? the teachers. what happens when trs leave?
the identity of the sch changes.
stability, being so important is still hard to balance with fresh new ideas to take things to a new height… but here i am behaving like an old lady who refuses to shift from her house so that land reformation can take place………. im still lingering in the past when everyone is heading towards the future.
one day, i might leave sch to find another future. the ppl i leave behind might miss me. or maybe i’ll just be another person who came and went.
i dont quite know where im going with this post. all i know is ive been quite sad since getting back home 2 nights ago.. a mentor will be leaving. there’s one less person i can look up to in sch.
i remember AK’s reminder to make sure i sustain gold. but he doesnt know that gold is not what im mostly concerned with. what im concerned with is how to straighten out the sec 2 cohort cos they’ll be leading the corps for the whole year. how to make them more confident. how to educate them on so many things. how to get them to teach the juniors abt correct behaviour. abt how to be an appreciative person. abt so many things. how can i myself be a better role model. etc…… how can all these be substituted for an award? an award that does mean alot to the sch. but to me, not as much as each student’s personal development…
it still pains me that she’s leaving. i never knew that was how much of an impact she’s left on me. i never realised it. what do ppl do to leave such an impression behind? if i ever asked her she’d most probably say, “nothing what.. just do lah” haha.. im going to miss her responses.
hiyah… ppl come and go…. thats to be expected.. i’ll go one day too. so will the officers. and so will the new officers…. which makes handing over ever so important.
with so many changes next yr, i guess there’ll be new ideas in sch. maybe that’ll help eradicate some of the perhaps-not-so-good-things that’s been happening. change is good.
ya… this post has become some ‘dear diary’ entry. my thoughts are all just so trapped in a cob web that i end up having tears almost everytime i think of next yr. sigh…… im going to miss her. alot.