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shit happens. but shit isnt the whole thing.

25 Nov

he said, “its not as simple as you think, what goes on in there is more than what you know. ppl dont leave a portfolio and stay at the same place. you leave. not stay. your CEP will be affected. its not abt your performance. CEP is more than just your performance. its ppl’s view of what you are capable of holding. and even simple things like the way you carry yourself and the way you talk makes an impact on their view of your CEP. im sure your position has been mentioned to the higher ups. next yr when they see your name not there, it will be taken as incompetence. then regardless of your performance, your CEP will drop because you got out of _____. if you had stayed on, you’ll realise that you can make the changes you really want, instead of just following orders. if you find somethings are useless, you would have been in the position to make the changes. if you really wanted to do things for the students, this is definitely something that you can work with..”

i said, “but i really dont like it. i really dont. really. really. really. i dont like it…”

he said, “you need to find the meaning and purpose in what you do. actually its a very nice portfolio to make an impact. better than others like maybe _____. it is at the heart of what you want to do. ”

i said, “…………………”

he said, “you really should have talked to someone first. or we should have met one month earlier. then i can bring you back to your senses. you really should have understood what they meant when they asked you to reconsider.”

i said, “………………..”

he said, “this is a big decision…. didnt you talk to someone abt it?”

i said, “i did……….. but…. i really dont like all the admin stuff and all those nonsense…”

he said, “who likes that? nobody does. there’s more to that portfolio than just admin. think abt it. there’s so many things you can do. all the admin stuff, i mean, shit happens. but shit isnt the whole thing isnt it….”

i said, “……………….”

______________________________________________________________________________________

now, with someone new above me, im wondering if i could have managed if i stayed on….. but its too late for regrets. i really should have had this conversation with Chrys 1 month back.. maybe then i’d had another angle to think abt before i made a decision..

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Posted by on November 25, 2010 in i-Lead, i-Reflect

 

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