so the bio MCQs ended today…. i was quite looking forward to it, with KS and i saying that exactly 2.31pm today, we’ll celebrate having gotten rid of all our classes….
it was time for the kids to go into the hall and i remember MC saying “last paper everyone, all the best!” and the kids cheered.
they walked in and sat down. the place was silent. i turned back and all the other teachers who had come to support the kids had left… but i stood there still, watching the CPE give instructions…
the group of students ive taught for 5 yrs – i wont be teaching them anymore. no more lessons. no more IP. no more scolding. no more nagging. i wouldnt say its separation anxiety. thats way too deep a metaphor to use. but yes, it did feel sort of like “parent-sending-her kid-away-after-marriage”. i mean, it is a happy feeling to send your kids in for the last paper. but it is also a little sad.
i actually sort of feel like i just sat for MY last paper. once its over, suddenly you just stand there, lost for a few minutes. unaware of your next job (which of course is still many, but at that time, you get aimless).
“what now?” my mind asks.
“monday got sec 3s. after that, im done teaching for the year” my mind replies.
ive met the new HOD and im handing over my duties. i think i will have my well needed break in dec. because in jan, im going to be a mentor of a childish class of 40 students. and i wont have the luxury of telling someone to get something done and see it get done asap. i wont have the luxury of emotional blackmail on those kids. i wont have the luxury of having a mentor class of less than 31 students. i wont have the luxury of scolding them in any way i want. i wont have the luxury of easily sms-ing parents and vice versa. i wont have the luxury of already having great rapport with them. i wont have the luxury of not having to learn so many names. and i wont have the luxury of talking sense.. i have to go back to discipling kids. basically, i have to start working as a mentor again. haha…
oh well… in any case, i wont follow up that class in 2012. but seriously, i have forgotten how to mentor a sec 1 class… childish kids.. ugh.. but what does it matter – they arent my babies…..
honestly, the thought of it makes me shierk…
“come on girl! be professional”
so……. thats what the last O level papers means to me… in another 10 days, they will be having their first prom night. and then the next time i see them will be for their O level results. so……… errrrr……. to say i’ll miss them will be an understatement. but im sure i can manage.
my class australian flag still stands.. it wont be there next yr when some other class takes over my classroom. but for almost the entire year, that flag has been an icon of the classroom block. that flag has been a symbol of team work and togetherness – i guess it will be too much to ask for that flag to remain there forever when it isnt YOG yr next yr isnt it..
anyway, this post is becoming draggy and the mention of the aussie flag is kinda depressing. maybe my babies should take it down themselves so that i wont have a depressing heart attack when i dont see that flag there next yr.. SIGH…………. BIG SIGH…..