just the way it is..

14 Feb

how do you successfully detach yourself from the outcomes you want, while still hoping for what you want and expecting otherwise?

recent spate of events in sch and home has got me thinking abt “does it really matter?”

so when i hear W keep saying, “its part of life”, i think to myself……. “is that all there is to it? is it all just part of life?”

i told ST one morning that i was pissed at the inability of some ppl to decide some issues. (though i understand their position too). he said, “too bad. they have to learn to let go, when things cant happen”.

but i still went to fight for it. regardless of the consequences it may have. maybe i’ll be known as a tr who fights for certain things she believes in. so, naturally i’d want things to go my way. but it doesnt always happen that way. “they have to learn to let go”

and i know that too. so, how do you motivate someone to do something, if not at the expense of wanting to achieve something?

my religion taught me to do my duty, and not expect the fruit.

but, how many ppl would bother studying if the cert they recieve at the end is worth nothing? how many ppl would bother working if money fell from the sky?

we all are so motivated to do something abt anything, because we want an outcome. so ppl are all blinded, in one way or another, by personal gains they’d get at the end of an act.

“i study, so that i can get a good cert, so that a good company will employ me, so that i’ll get a high pay, so that i can live a luxurious life”

maybe. how many ppl at 7-21 yrs old study because they want to learn new things.

for me, i want to study, because there’s so much in the world that amazes me. after my masters, i’d probably do nothing related to the field i’ll study anyway.

but that rarely happens, because for someone to invest time and money in further education, something has to benefit at the end of it. either in the form of a higher pay scale, or promotions.

its hard to accept something, though i feel that sometimes, even moral deeds are for personal gains. which im not saying is wrong. why should it be wrong? i mean, if i feel good doing something, it’s alright, as long as it benefits someone right?

so when mom says, “oh, today is bla bla bla day. buy someone food. its good to do it today”, i tell her, “any day i buy something for my colleagues is a good day because i made someone start their day with a smile”

but seriously, if no one appreciates that i bought them buns in the morning, i’d probably stop doing it. personal gratification. so, maybe i do it for personal gratification. in a not so obvious way, maybe i do it, because ppl appreciate that i did it. and that gives me a nice feeling.

we are all driven by the need to make ourselves feel good. the way i see it, it doesnt work any other way. its just the way it is…

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Posted by on February 14, 2010 in i-Reflect


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