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how to survive devil attacks

22 Sep

so remember those monkeys that attacked us? ya… they are on newspaper. in today’s copy of Weekend Today. there they are nicely posing under a Meeting Point 5 signboard.

so, here’s what i found from asking others on what to do if monkeys attack.

1. just dont carry any food with strong smells. and monkeys can smell pretty well, so try not to bring any food. (this point include not being stupid enough to feed just 1 monkey, cos there are alot more than what you see. but they know you are there. they are like invisible beings, until they see/smell food)

2. dont open any bags or anything that looks like a bag when there are very few of you and many of them staking out from the trees.

3. make alot of noise and just keep walking when you see a bunch.

4. dont stare at monkeys.

5. carry a stick along. not to hit them, but to try to keep them away.

6. dont wear any perfumes/cologne that smells like flowers, fruits (so no herbal essence hair wash prior to a trekking expedition).

7. this is really hard to do, but DO NOT PANIC.

8. call someone and tell them that you are nearing monkey gang 369. at least they’ll know if you dont come back, your last contact point was when you called them. you probably wont die, but alot of scratches from monkeys could make you faint. i dont suppose monkeys would like the smell of blood, so you probably wont be eaten alive.

thats all i have for now on how to survive monkey attacks. if you know of any, just leave a msg.

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Posted by on September 22, 2007 in i-Typical

 

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