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i blame the hormones for the confusion

there’s so many things on my to-do list this yr and im having a hard time prioritising cos i want the ‘wants’ as much as i need the ‘needs’..

i wanna get a kayak, a house, the rest of my dive equipment, dive komodo with my man but he cant come so im wondering if i should do it another time but then im getting a really good discount for the liveaboard so i wanna go, a robot sweeper for my mom, a birthday surprise for my man that wont happen this yr cos i wasnt able to contact his housemate early enough but then again he doesnt know his schedule past the week so there wouldnt have been any point but anyway i decided i shall go next yr even though his birthday doesnt fall on a public hol next yr, a few mountains to climb in malaysia and indonesia, a weekend to plan for in KL, a june trip to see my man, a higher need to save money cos i should prioritise my house but also dont want my life to hit a standstill…………

plus i met 2 of my man’s colleagues today to collect something from him……. and a casual conversation make me suddenly feel like i might be a spoilt brat… i mean, these are ppl who are slogging it out in various conditions around the world, and here i am saying yangon is not optimal….? look at me!?!??! sigh……… just one of those days…

was gonna ask K out for a talk, but that woman has developed a fever. good! that will force her to rest!!

im blabbering…….. but thats ok. it’s my right to blabber in this space if i want to just cos i dont want to blabber to ppl abt something so mundane.

ok bye now…

 
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Posted by on February 10, 2015 in i-Blabber

 

death is irreversible

i met the captain of the tennis team today. found out through a colleague that his mom had passed away on saturday. when i met him today, i asked him what happened and i had a wave of tear run across my eye.

his mom had found out 4 mths ago that she had stage 4 liver cancer. she had been on medication until 2 wks ago when doctors said she’s not responding to medication. then 1 week ago, they said she wont survive. they kept her on painkillers in the hospital. she passed away saturday, after the son visited her and reached home. he got the call then. he has a 14 yr old brother whom he said is not getting adjusted to knowing his mom will never be there again.

my student is a very nice good natured well mannered boy… i pray for strength to push through life.

cos i dont know if i can….

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2015 in i-Cry

 

the fine that made me smile

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did you know you had to put parking coupon at BBNP?!?!?! i never knew!!! i’ve always parked there without coupons…. but guess what! after the hr and half long discussion, i walk back to my car to see a ticket sort of paper flapping around and i knew immediately that i had been fined!!

anyway! the fine was only $6 cos some nice person put a 30 min parking coupon on my window for me….. i mean……. how awesome is that $0.50 act!!!

whoever you are sir, i promise to pass it on when i see another parking attendant and a coupon-less car!!!

thanks to you, im smiling over getting fined!!

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2015 in i-Marvel

 

real men dont hit girls

real men dont hit girls

 
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Posted by on January 13, 2015 in i-LiveMyLife

 

summing up 2014

what a year it has been…

Jan: meh. sch.

Feb: quite a quiet month. sent fenny off for her studies, car hit a car which hit a car :(

Mar: Completed Rescue Diver Course, Dived in Anilao

Apr: quite a quiet month cos too much work at work

May: Did coral relocation dives at Sultan Shoal and Sisters’ Islands, got my 2-star kayak cert!

June: Kayaked and trekked Kuching, then did volunteer work in Chiang Rai, then flew to Myanmar to see my man after 10 months of distance!!! oh, and cave climbing at Batu Maloi!

July: Coral relocation again! plus my man came to visit for my birthday! <3 <3

August: Coral relocation again

Sep: Dived in Perhentian with my lovely man! Celebrated 2 years together!

Oct: Got offered a job at the new school, climbed gunung pulai

Nov: counting down to end the work year

Dec: India trip. and Christmas with his family and it was LOVELY!! :D

not as exciting at 2013, but still…….. a year anyway……

 
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Posted by on December 31, 2014 in i-LiveMyLife

 

when things make sense

something strange tends to happen to my brain when The SB is out of contact. it’s as though my neurones awaken. the first time he was out of contact (while out diving the SS Yongala), i realised i missed him and wanted to talk to him abt something that had come up. he’s away for 6 days this time round.

something that i had held steadfast in my philosophy for over a decade is that ppl dont care. ppl generally dont care. they are selfish and they basically dont care. so on thursday, in response to a casual question, i repeated my philosophy to a group of strangers that ppl dont care. and for some funny reason, i thought to myself, “thats not true.” i hadnt realised that i had changed my opinion of ppl. i walked home that day thinking of all the ways in which The SB had shown that he cares. that he cares not because he is afraid of what the world will think. but because he just cares. i thought about how his family invited me into their homes, and i thought “they care for me because they love him”. i thought my parents care, in whatever ways they know, however they know. you know what i realised?

i realised The SB taught me that ppl do care, without forcing me to believe that ppl do care. this man is someone special. he made a rock melt. he made me feel safe being vulnerable. he showed me how it feels like to be treated right. my man is someone really special. <3

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2014 in i-Love, i-Reflect

 

as time passes you by

it’s been a while since ive written. been too busy with work and when im not busy with work im busy holidaying. just last week i was with my man on a beach, thinking that we would have been together for 2 yrs in 2 days time. in the weeks preceding and after i came back, lots of things happened. which made me think of some life changing choices… choices that i have made since 2010 that have made me a happier person. because life is just too short to remain miserable. this week, i made another choice. why stay unhappy and complain when you know you have the choice to change the circumstance? after much reflection and thinking, i decided to do it. this continues the uncertainty of my man and me. but when the time is right, i think we will work this out. and until then, we will stay positive and keep the faith.

 
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Posted by on September 22, 2014 in i-Learn

 
 
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