in all truthfulness

Crap shops are my favourites. That’s what I call those shops which sell all sorts of memorabilia. They are just fun, you want everything, but don’t need them.

We walk in, tired after 5 hours of shopping but all in a good mood. and my friend points at this purse, white base and colourful flowers in 3-d.

“that’s totally you!”

“ok, im not THAT happy a person” I reply, still laughing at the thought of me carrying that sight of colours.

“what!?!! You are the happiest person I know!” she says.

Struck by that sentence, I turn around.

Read my lips, trace the lines on my face, catch the subtle signs of my body. You will realize that laughing with the world is the one way I can escape the reality of my emotions.

If I may analyse myself, perhaps im over compensating for what’s lacking.

But this pretense is what sees me through sometimes. at the very least, i can smile and laugh with the world when im with the rest of the world. and for that moment, that laughter experienced is still a laughter gained.

 

heavy hearted

tonight i lie in bed, wondering how im going to leave this place without finding a solution for the one who’s crying quietly in the next room.

 

“Dolphins are always smiling; it is nature’s greatest deception” Mr Ric O’ Barry

many many months have passed since the campaign went public. on Sunday, Ric O’ Barry touched down at Changi Airport to spend a few days here explaining the need for the campaign and hoping that RWS will at least have a chat with him. on tuesday, ACRES arranged for a dialogue session with him. well, the truth is, as excited as i was, having this wonderful once in a lifetime opportunity to meet this man, i knew we were gathering for a very sad reason. and just like what was mentioned during the Biodiversity Symposium, the target audience we would have loved to see wasnt there. members of the public who dont know what this issue is all about should have turned up. fans of RWS who wonder why some of us are petitioning for the release of the 25 miserable dolphins should have turned up. but yet again, it was those who didnt need convincing who turned up.

many of us have been writing to RWS for replies addressing the concerns we have over the plight of the remaining dolphins. Ric wrote a letter too. not one, not two. and yet, RWS claims they never received the letters. ACRES wrote in to RWS asking for a mtg. RWS declined a mtg with him, saying it felt no need for a debate. well, we know they have something to hide because they refuse to alleviate our concerns by answering the questions.we know they have something to hide.

ACRES has evidence of how dolphin training is happening in the tiny enclosure before it is brought to RWS in 2012. this is what RWS needs to do to train the dolphins before they appear in front of the millions of inhumane audiences who smile at them being tortured.

dolphins are social creatures. once again, i say, they NEED vast oceans to swim the distances and at that speeds. they do flips and turns and blow bubbles and play with things, but NOT at the instruction of the trainers who refuse to feed them unless they do the tricks. they are deprived of the sounds/currents/interaction they get in the wild. “the primary sense of dolphins is sounds. putting them in a concrete box is a sensory deprivation” they said there will be no dolphin shows, but they said there will be exercise sessions for dolphins which the visitors to RWS can see. why twist words when the ultimate objective is still to get ppl to pay money to watch dolphins? so tell me which part of dolphins shows does not reek of animal cruelty? “Why would they go forward with such a bad idea that is so obviously wrong?”

Even CNN covered the news.

yet RWS does not want to reply to the concerns raised. why hide if they are sure that their cause of captive dolphins is for education and conservation is ethical? “Real education is about knowing all the reasons and making an educated decision” so here’s pleading RWS to have a discussion, learn the concerns and consequences and make the right ethical decision.

ppl did ask whether dolphins stand a better chance living longer when kept captive. well, the reply was that if you were to be stuck in a room (you cant leave, obviously) with food delivered to you everyday. you would survive. there’s no question about that. surviving is not an issue. but surely you’d want to go out for a walk someday. talk to friends perhaps. enjoy the wind. so, “dolphins may survive in captivity. but its not about the quantity of life.. its the quality of life that matters.” 

and for those who think that they might never have the opportunity to see dolphins upclose. well, there are ALOT of animals you might not get to see upclose he said. does it mean that everytime you want to see an animal from the wild, you got to capture it and bring it down and cage it up and exhibit it? ppl got to learn to curb their demands. there has to be a balance between interest and what can be achieved. a positive example of how wild animals can be enjoyed is whale watching. it seems that more money has been made from whale watching tours than killing whales through all the years of history.

dolphins are one of the most intelligent animals and they should NOT be kept captive. it is pure animal torture and is totally unethical. Ric described it as one of Nature’s Greatest Deception, that the dolphins are always appearing as though they are smiling. but in fact, they are under alot of stress. stress that could lead them to death. and 2 have already died.

RWS has already made alot of money in the first half of this year (S$500m if i remember correctly), and they made this much without having the dolphins around. and they will continue to make this much without the dolphins. they dont need the dolphins to make money. so i think now it is just a matter of who wins this fight. and we need help. staying silent does not help. if you understand the situation and realise that captive dolphins is pure animal torture, then speak up.

1) write to RWS (politely) and ask them to release the dolphins.

2) boycott RWS

3) spread the word to ppl you know, make them understand.

4) post on FB, take the photo petition, sign the petition

5) follow the website for latest updates

do something (legally of course).

MasterCard which had announced discounted prices to RWS has taken it back. and has said that it does NOT support the marine life park at RWS.

“one brick at a time” said Ric. and we hope that too. as consumers, if we refuse to pay for the ticket to the MLP, they will lose money and be forced to reverse the situation. we do have the power.

please help to support the cause. dolphins are meant to be in the wild. it makes no sense that ppl can sit at seats and clap at dolphins being tortured. please spread the world.

RWS, please let the dolphins go!

*the bold statements were said by Ric O’ Barry and Louis Ng. 

 

the following are media coverage of the Ric O’Barry’s Visit

Asian Scientist

The Online Citizen

Yahoo News

Pets Magazine

Singapore Press Holdings

 

 

 

 

 

my prayer tonight

Dear Amma,

i asked myself this question yesterday. “which is more important? family or students?”

the answer was obvious. family.

so why am i not spending equal (if not more) time with my family than i do with students?

on monday, when i called my mom and told her i wasnt going home for dinner, she rebuted, “work, home, work, home. is this life?” i kept quiet. she was pissed at me. but i really had work to do that i couldnt just not do. and my colleague couldnt understand why being so old already, i still feel the need to inform my parents what time i was going home/whether i wanted dinner/etc. well, my mom’s not a teacher. she doesnt know how much work we do behind the scenes, and quite frankly, no one who’s not a teacher would know. but i know she’s lonely and sad. should i wait until its too late to spend time with her? why do we always assume that our loved ones will be there tomorrow?

today, i go to school and return the horrible prelim papers. after i return the results, i see some ppl smiling as they walk out of the classroom. the class MSGs were 6.1 and 6.5 respectively. i dont understand how they can smile, when a few of us were close to tears in the staffroom. at a total loss of how to help those who dont bother abt helping themselves.

i know i told myself to get pumped up and face this term with the most energy i have. but, seemingly, trying to remove the frown on my face is sapping my energy dry. and yet, i have to dig the deepest ive ever had to find the energy to have IP coaching from 3 to 6pm everyday from monday to friday and until 12pm on saturday. even i think its ridiculous and i dont know why im doing it (i just think thats what im supposed to do). while the students might not realise that this means that i actually have to start doing my own work after 6pm, i find myself questioning why its so important that i try to improve their grades.

i never wanted to be one of those teachers whose ultimate aim was to have the best MSG for herself. but you know what, if the collective results of students with PSLE T-score of 230+ produced a fail grade of 6.1, something is wrong somewhere. and i know its not because i didnt do enough. because a class of students with PSLE T-score of less than 190 produced an MSG of 4.3 at the same stage last year, for a set of paper that was slightly more tricky and difficult. and yet, on friday, there is going to be a slamming session mtg for us to explain what went wrong with the prelims, and i cant say anything else except the fact that i didnt inspire them enough. (but, my teachers didnt need to beg me to study. i knew i must study because its my future.)

Amma, im tired. in the end, i know ive done everything within my ability. its tough to carry on when only one party is trying and the other isnt. its tough to carry on when ppl think the results are bad because you didnt do enough.

but i will push through this year. even if everyday is a struggle, i wont give up.

and so here is my prayer.

please give me strength to pull myself together because there are definitely students to deserve my attention. these kids have tried, are trying, deserve my attention to move them up to the next grade.

please give me the mental resilience to pull through all the disappointments. for those who really dont care, i dont see the need to care.

please give me the ability to teach then in the easiest possible way for them to learn. maybe i didnt teach well enough. but this 1 mth is the last chance i have to ensure that they know everything that’s going to be tested.

please give me energy to handle 4 more weeks of 13 hrs of work in sch and 3 hrs of work at home. im going to be out of sleep and moody. and maybe just angry at anything else other than what im supposed to do. just these 4 mths. after that, im converting to one of those ppl who knows that family always comes first and if the students dont study hard enough, its their loss. i dont need to sacrifice family and personal time to beg ppl to study.

please teach me to be patient with those who couldnt be bothered previously, but are not starting to wake up.

please create a miracle, because thats what they need now. perhaps a wake up call. or an inkling of an interest to have an aim.

thank you.

 

my lunch time wishlist

so here i am at the staff lounge, eating my lunch, wondering how im going to survive the next 50 days….. and here’s what comes up…

Mares Cruise Roller Bag (~ SGD 230)

 Suunto Stinger Dive Computer (~ SGD 730)

Dive Rite Travel Exp Wing (~SGD 445)

ScubaPro Thermal Tec 3MM (~ SGD 300)

 

awwwwwww…………. money money money!

gtg work! chao!

 

 

Protected: all these family issues

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

 

when you believe, you will inspire

the sharing session by Dr Jane Goodall made me wonder why though i was passionate abt some things, it never managed to inspire others. how did she manage to inspire and why couldnt i spread the word… on sunday, i was with ACRES at the ‘Save the dolphins” campaign. the campaign finally managed to be at a place assessible for me, and on a date when i was available. so, i went.

RWS’s capture and containment of 27 wild dolphins has already resulted in the death of 2 of them. the remaining 25 are still being trained, and RWS still has not responded to National and International questions with regards to the welfare of the dolphins. we are trying to get RWS to release the dolphins.

at several instances when i spoke to families, primary sch children especially, i saw them cringe when i explained the plight of the dolphins. for adults who didnt realise what enclosures does to the dolphins, i explained the consequences. many ppl took the photo petition because they believed it harms the dolpins more than it entertains the public.

at several instances also, i felt like tearing up when i shared how much the dolphins suffer. one stranger who was touched by my passion said really encouraging things to me. she stroked my back and said, “your passion is inspiring”. and that was the first time someone ever said that to me. i cant say i felt like Jane Goodall then, but i can sure imagine how the ppl she inspired must have felt. i inspired someone. that day, i made a difference. RWS may not release the dolphins, but at least i have educated several ppl about whats actually happening to the dolphins. now, more ppl know abt the things that happen to captive dolphins. the next generation of leaders are being educated. as long as the children believe in the negative impact, we can change this. one day.

i believe we will.

and ive realised that when you believe in something, it will come across to others. and ppl can be inspired. and the passion can change ppl’s ideaologies.

RWS, please let the dolphins go.

if you want to see the dolphins, please take a yacht trip out to the sea.

how can dolphins that swim so freely be happy when kept in a glass enclosure? if you really want to be education on dolphin behaviour, go study them where they are at home. dont buy into RWS’s explanation.

please join us in the petition and show your support.

 

the old uncles and old aunties

its a issue many of us dont want to acknowledge. at the back of our minds, we must have all wondered at some point in time, and yet, we pretend not to notice, or pretend to be oblivious.

today, in school, while i was invigilating outside the classroom, a saw an old man walk out of the toilet carrying 2 large NTUC plastic bags. ive never seen him in sch before. i faced him, wanting to give a smile and a nod of acknowledgement, but he never looked at me. his head was down and he quietly walked past. at some point in time, i felt uncomfortable, and i looked down as well.

maybe he was thinking of what else he needed to finish up in sch. maybe he was thinking of when he could rest from his tiring day at work. maybe he was feeling unappreciated and had learnt not to expect ppl to acknowledge his presence (and therefore, there wasnt any need to look at the younger generation). maybe he felt stigmatised (embarrassed perhaps) having to walk past 2 and a half class full of students who had everything to live for while he was awaiting his last day? how would he have felt? an old man who has served his youthful years to the country and expected a dignified retirement, and yet he ended up in that state where he had to clean toilets for a living.

we can assume all we want, but, we’ll never understand how they feel. when old uncles and aunties have to do cleaning up jobs after us. in school, when they clear our rubbish bins. in the kopitiams where they clear out dirty plates and tables. at the back alley of coffee shops where they have to wash utensils. in posh restaurants where they have to clean toilets. to be honest, these are jobs that need to be done. but, i’d never want my mom/dad to do it. its not that it isnt a prestigious job. (i mean, it isnt… but) its a tiresome job. and basically, i wouldnt want my mom to be cleaning up after ppl. its a job that requires quite a bit of mental resilience on top of toughing it out everyday, smelling stinky things and cleaning dirty things. having to deal with irresponsible ppl who dont put the chicken bones back onto their plates after they are done with it. or ppl who just throw rubbish anywhere.

but thats besides the point. why are these ppl even working? they should be enjoying retirement. granted that there are those who have worked all their lives and still want to continue to work. these ppl should continue. but then there are those who are obligated to work because they dont have children supporting them anymore, for one reason or the other. im not good with the impact of policies and all, but im wondering why the country hasnt done something to alleviate this issue. or maybe she has. but, all i seem to remember is that the govt said to encourage working for as long as the person can work. i mean……. why should ppl have to work at old age? its different if they want to work.

maybe they didnt want ppl exploiting tax payers money. maybe because it really is an aging population in sg and with increasing number of children abandoning their parents, this seems to be the only way out. all that stuff abt keeping your mind stimulated? well, i think time with their old uncle/auntie friends, mahjong games, kopi sessions or fishing time would be a much healthier option than picking up litter isnt it?

not quite sure what im trying to say in this post, but, i just feel that these ppl are often forgotten. it wouldnt take us much effort to smile at them, and yet so many ppl dont do it. all because they are preoccupied with their own business. as it is, they are doing a tedious job. i guess these uncles and aunties will be alot happier if we just paid a little more attention to them on a regular basis. genuinely.

i make the effort to say hi to them and give a big smile (no matter how sucky my day goes), and i think there are many other teachers who do too. and it makes them feel appreciated. i hope we will rub it off the students too.

say a little thank you to the auntie who cleans the table for you at the kopitiam. or help the cleaner when the rubbish bin gets too full. wave a little “hi” when you walk past the cleaner whose resting on the bench after a tough day. making the world a better place does begin with us.

on a separate note, i hope none of you will abandon your parents. its the most evil thing you can do to the person who brought you up.

 

The Green Corridor – my railway adventure 2 (Bt Timah to Buona Vista)

this trip was vastly different from my previous trip along the railway track from Bt Merah to Bt Timah, when few ppl bothered abt the existence of this track. no one cared abt the railway line. apart from turning their heads to the sound of the oncoming train, the railway track seemed to disappear. in my previous trip, we were the only ones walking on the track and NSS led some groups.

yesterday, as i walked towards the bt timah railway station, my heart sank. so many ppl? the place looked infested. and i became skeptical. so many people. i walked on with a heavy heart to the start point. and i stood there alone for a good 20 minutes, just observing everyone. i heard the conversations of ppl walking past me, those taking scenic photographs, those taking arty farty photographs with toy trains on the railway tracks, little kids picking up stones and throwing it back on the track, eager parents who encouraged their kids, and eager parents who warned their kids to be safe. so many people, so much noise, so many distractions. this was absolutely not what i imagined it to be.

i finally saw the group that i was supposed to walk with, and my first smile came when i saw a familiar face! Allan Teo! Yay!

the walk was fantastic! with him and other NSS peeps sharing their knowledge. now and then, strangers who werent from the group stopped by to listen to the simple sharing sesions on some plant or a bird perched on a tree. people from within the group also shared their information. why, even i shared my experiences. as we walked further, the track got less crowded. still, Allen and other NSS ppl bumped into their friends. and they chatted like uncles meeting their old time friends.

one of those we bumped into was, Von Bin and wife, who said there was a christmas tree planted on the tracks.

and i wasnt quite sure why resilience was written on it, but, thinking back, im wondering if that one green leaf was the only living part of the leaf, trying to have a 2nd go at reviving the plant. if that is it, then someone must have planted it into the ground on the tracks.. how cool!

there were cyclists on the track too. many others walking dogs, some others just up for some exercise and they seemed fascinated that ppl in our group brought larger than normal binoculars and stared at trees. haha… if anything, i thought that we just encouraged a whole new hobby to these onlookers, some of whom stopped to ask more questions!!! yay!!!

at the end of the day, as our group got smaller and smaller towards the end point, we were strangers, yet we shared the same views on the subject. we shared information abt plants and lifestyles in those golden days. how kids then didnt need money to buy toys; they just made their own with whatever they found in nature. and it reiterated why i didnt mind going for these nature trips alone even if my friends aren’t interested. cos, i still end up inspired, meeting ppl from different walks of like who had similar yet different experiences growing up. there was so much to learn, although this wasnt my first time on the tracks!

in the end, i thought to myself: so what if the track was crowded and noiser than my previous experience? these people were loving it, and they were introduced to a vast range of wildlife by other strangers who wanted to share their knowledge. there was a whole lot of information to be shared with members of the public and they were grateful to hear them. strangers spoke to strangers, greeted each other, and encouraged each other to continue on the track.

its not an everyday luxury that ppl get to spot long tailed parakeets and white crested laughing trushes and zebra doves, snakes, etc. if this railway track can introduce them to enjoying nature the way its best enjoyed, well then, welcome aboard! i changed my view abt the crowd by the time i reached the end. i smiled to myself as i thought, “hey, as long as more ppl enjoy and support nature conservation!”

so everyone, anyone, you have 1 more week before the tracks are closed. if you do go down, please show your support by sharing your photographs (of nature) and thoughts and experiences on The Green Corridor FB page or at their official website. the more ppl know abt the usefulness of such a long 26 km corridor that links many parts of Singapore, the better it is for conservation! and remember, to respect nature and keep the tracks clean. it IS our responsibility!

here are pics from this trip. for pictures from my previous trip, click on the first link in this post.

the crowd on a late saturday afternoon!

here we are at the start of the trip, with allan starting the introduction!

allan showed us a few plant-toys!

one for twirling around your finger!

the other was to shoot!

a nice canal under the track.

a fruiting fig tree! and apparently, i was the only one who thought figs tasted disgusting!

even the dog comes along for the trek!

came across this gorgeous house again…. reports said that residents alongside the railway track mention that they will miss the sound of the train…..

the sun was starting to set

the old RJC

several electrical boxes, all of them left open after the electrical cables were cleared.

seemingly these ppl from these bungalow houses took it upon themselves to build a bridge in their backyard!

this is a photograph of the nest of the olive back sunbird (the same kind of sunbird we see in our school)

night fell, it was time for us to climb back to the busy life.

in the end, a trip well worth my time!

 

Protected: its not her fault…

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password: