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Category Archives: i-Typical

i should draw up my bucket list too!

look at his!

but of course in saying so, i will procrastinate and decide that i will think about it later, on a date to be confirmed. ;p

for now, im back to my report… laters!

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2013 in i-Typical

 

believe me, i try so hard

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it doesnt work, but i still keep reminding myself.

2 months left and i cant deny that sometimes i wonder how simpler it would have been if i had said “No”. Life seemed easy then. i dont know how others do it. im probably more messed up than i think i am… but i also know what i need for this to work, and im not sure im going to get that.

“but things might be perfect” so, i shall wait and let the future unfold itself. the past taught me alot of lessons. i am still learning from the present. maybe it will be perfect, maybe it wont. at least im giving it a chance.

 
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Posted by on May 5, 2013 in i-Love, i-Typical, i-Wish

 

i miss smiling

i still do, but i miss smiling without weight on my shoulders or worry on my mind. its been a while. the last time must be back in late september when i decided to go ahead with something i thought i’d never do. this week’s been tough. but it could have been tougher. im still alive and no one i know is dead. so come what may, im going to pick myself up and ease up on the pressure i’m putting on myself. studies, expenses. cos, i should be enjoying my final semester before starting work. and feeling overly disappointed in myself and over stressing abt not being the best is not how i want to remember the final semester. let’s go girl!

 
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Posted by on May 3, 2013 in i-Typical

 

dear stars in the night sky

take me with you

take me to the quiet of Space

where my silence is unconditionally accepted

take me to the seat on the moon

where i can spend the night watching waves crash

take me to the vast nothingness

where i can embrace the cold and feel its warmth

take me with you

to a place where i have no desires and hopes and emotions

to a place where it is perfectly acceptable to become numb

Dear Stars in the Night Sky,

take me with you

somewhere, anywhere

 
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Posted by on April 27, 2013 in i-Typical, i-Wish

 

Protected: the little things

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Posted by on March 30, 2013 in i-Typical, i-Wish

 
Image

the truth behind our fears

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Posted by on March 28, 2013 in i-Typical

 

left wanting

had a long chat with my landlord last night when she figured she’s stuffing all the chocolate into her body cos nothing she’s eating is satisfying her and that she’s left wanting something – and that thing was cigarettes…. apparently, its been 5 yrs since she stopped, and everytime she feels the urge, she pops in food.

i went to bed last night realising that must be why im feeling so unsatisfied. not the cigarette, but the feeling of wanting something. ive been arguing with myself for pretty much the last 3 weeks, with incidents this week clogging up my emotions and my brains telling me to just shut up.

i told my landlord that im quite the opposite of her. she pours her troubles to everyone and anyone. i, over the years, have learnt that ppl dont really care (unless they are your family) and dont really want to hear your troubles cos they have their own shit to handle. and so i tend not to talk abt stuff that bothers me and have evolved to deal with my emotions myself. for the most part, if i dont talk abt it, it will slowly go away and it’ll almost be like it never happened. most theoretical ppl will say thats unhealthy. but it works for me. because at one point in time, almost every feeling i had was questioned or deemed wrong and i became apologetic for the way i felt. i know i have every right to feel how i feel, but its probably wrong and i rather keep quiet instead of say something i shouldnt have said and hurt another person.

but i woke up this morning feeling like i want to throw a tantrum. but im an adult, so i will just hit the roads for a run this evening and wait for this to blow over. cos much of this is baseless. and i probably shouldnt be feeling the way im feeling anyway.

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#cravingforalonghug

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2013 in i-Typical

 
 
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