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Category Archives: i-Teach

the question of the exclamation mark

so i receive this piece of assignment that i submitted 2 weeks ago. was really excited to get it back because it was a critical review of a paper that was published by “the most awarded man in biogeography” as quoted by my lecturer. i thought, “how wrong can a published paper be?” turns out, i picked out several errors – wondering if i was shooting myself in the arse.

so receiving a high distinction for this assignment was supposed to be like such an affirmation. and i was supposed to be happy. except that seeing this comment on my paper just threw me off.

haha! imagine me walking along the pavement back to the library and i speak to the world, “Bloody hell! you comment on MY paper with an EXCLAMATION MARK!!?!??!?!”

and i was at it for a while.

until it struck me. i write comments with a larger font that what was used on mine. i use a pen that is redder than what was used on mine. and for what its worth, i dont just use one exclamation mark. it usually comes in threes, and sometimes mixed with question marks. and sometimes a sad face.

seriously, i want to know how students take it. cos i was never a fantastic student in sch myself and receiving ‘complaints to parents’ was like a usual thing. so i probably never took note of how my teachers’ marking affected me cos i knew i was a terrible student.

but this one was different. i had put in much thought and effort into it. and i feel intelligent enough to say, if you didnt understand what i meant to say, dont say “redundant” and add an exclamation mark! (of course, if the marker didnt understand it, i probably didnt write it well enough)

anyway, i spent a few hours reflecting and laughed with my landlord about it.

funny, the things people remember of their teacher.

one of my students remembers me telling her (and her friend) to leave the classroom cos her friend was talking to her. she’s a good kid. and up till sec 4, she tells me i was terrible to send her out. we laugh at it now, but still, that is still a memory. (at least we worked it out)

i dont know when i got used to exclamation marks. maybe from JC. when seeing exclamation marks were a common thing. it could mean one of 2 things. the answer was terrible, during when we feel like “how the hell do we get it right?!??!!!” or, the answer was fantastic, during when we feel like “i knew i was a genius”

i guess we learnt to not take the exclamation marks personally.

but perhaps doing that to a sec 1 kid, with red ink and large crosses – now i think that must be quite frightening. you have got to understand, for a teacher who has marked 300 scripts with the most kids-say-the-darnest-things kinda answers, after a while, the crosses and comments just get bigger and bigger…

so then who can we do it to? those we have good rapport with, and those whom we think can handle the exclamation marks?

i asked my landlord, “how else can i say what i want to say?”

and she replies, “just write ‘see me’”

now we all know that wont work. tried and tested. i wouldnt. that was how terrible a student i was!

but to be fair to teachers, comments (not derogatory ones) on scripts do establish some sort of a connection. we cant speak to each and every student, but we can write on each and every script. when my JC chem teacher wrote on my scripts, it was as if she was speaking to me. i could hear her scream at me through her comments and exclamation marks. so did my JC math teacher. thats my earliest memory of seeing comments and exclamation marks on my papers and perhaps thats where i learnt it from.

while i think the younger kids may get startled by the big, red, exclamation marks, i think the older students dont really take it personally. or maybe we just got used to it and moved on.

fact is, there’s nothing like positive comments that makes a kid smile (for most of them at least). it always helps to know that someone else thinks that your work was good. at least for me. thats positive affirmation. and i believe that even the most confident of person can crumble if negative comments are consistently make.

so maybe if there’s nothing positive to say abt that script, perhaps its best to leave things unsaid? to be practical, that doesnt  happen. we are most often disappointed if we cant say something positive abt a person’s script. and to convey our disappointment that our individual high expectations a kid isnt met seems to be the way to go. perhaps not the best with exclamation marks, cos that conveys anger more than disappointment. so we got to rethink what we intend to say and what we are actually saying with the exclamation marks.

either way, ive come to the conclusion, after a few hrs of reflection, that i will refrain from using exclamation marks for wrong answers for sec 1 kids. they are still primary sch and i shouldnt scare them at sec 1.

i have also come to the conclusion that i will refrain from using exclamation marks for students whom i know have put in effort. for these students, negative exclamation marks must surely hurt.

and i have come to the conclusion that i shouldnt mark scripts with emotions. cos that translates into marking more aggressively. and pity the kid who gets the biggest cross for a small careless mistake. i plead guilty.

 
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Posted by on May 22, 2012 in i-Reflect, i-Teach

 

freedom of speech

excerpt from TodayOnline on the Yale-NUS resolution thingy:

“Political science and philosophy professor Seyla Benhabib told Today in an email that “the good people of Singapore and our colleagues at NUS should rest assured that we do not mean to disrespect their considerable achievements as a society”. 

She added: “But we do have different historical experiences, standards and values when it comes to matters of free speech in and out of the classroom; freedom of assembly; the rights of sexual minorities, the rights of migrants and many other matters.”

She felt that the faculty’s vocal stance on the matter exemplified the meaning of “freedom of speech”. “This is our duty as educators; and no one – not even our President – can take away our right to express ourselves and to disagree with official policy. This is what makes Yale what it is,” she said.”

wow…. seriously, some bosses really know that they are talking abt. (unlike some of the bosses i know)

im just really impressed with that this lady said. like really impressed.

but you know, while i cant reply her back in such articulate terms, i dont know why im confident that Father Lee would have been able to.

i guess in that sense, maybe, im still old-school…

you see, she’s right in saying we have had different historical experiences and it is those experiences that have shaped much of our political expectations on “freedom of speech”. it is every human being’s right, but you have to agree that the society has to (1) be mature and responsible in realising that what they say can be detrimental in as diverse a community as ours and (2) be ready to accept a less stable social environment/more political outbursts which may result in total chaos (in some instances).

im not saying our govt is fantastic cos there are so many other issues…

but frankly, at least for me, freedom of speech isnt half as much an issue as is the way we educate students in sch to be exam smart. now that, thats a bigger problem. no leeway for freedom of answers. we teach students exactly what to write, how to write, when to use which key words, heck, we even have model answers for our students just so they can score well in exams. true education? now that is lacking more than freedom of speech.

 
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Posted by on April 10, 2012 in i-Teach, i-Want

 

my prayer tonight

Dear Amma,

i asked myself this question yesterday. “which is more important? family or students?”

the answer was obvious. family.

so why am i not spending equal (if not more) time with my family than i do with students?

on monday, when i called my mom and told her i wasnt going home for dinner, she rebuted, “work, home, work, home. is this life?” i kept quiet. she was pissed at me. but i really had work to do that i couldnt just not do. and my colleague couldnt understand why being so old already, i still feel the need to inform my parents what time i was going home/whether i wanted dinner/etc. well, my mom’s not a teacher. she doesnt know how much work we do behind the scenes, and quite frankly, no one who’s not a teacher would know. but i know she’s lonely and sad. should i wait until its too late to spend time with her? why do we always assume that our loved ones will be there tomorrow?

today, i go to school and return the horrible prelim papers. after i return the results, i see some ppl smiling as they walk out of the classroom. the class MSGs were 6.1 and 6.5 respectively. i dont understand how they can smile, when a few of us were close to tears in the staffroom. at a total loss of how to help those who dont bother abt helping themselves.

i know i told myself to get pumped up and face this term with the most energy i have. but, seemingly, trying to remove the frown on my face is sapping my energy dry. and yet, i have to dig the deepest ive ever had to find the energy to have IP coaching from 3 to 6pm everyday from monday to friday and until 12pm on saturday. even i think its ridiculous and i dont know why im doing it (i just think thats what im supposed to do). while the students might not realise that this means that i actually have to start doing my own work after 6pm, i find myself questioning why its so important that i try to improve their grades.

i never wanted to be one of those teachers whose ultimate aim was to have the best MSG for herself. but you know what, if the collective results of students with PSLE T-score of 230+ produced a fail grade of 6.1, something is wrong somewhere. and i know its not because i didnt do enough. because a class of students with PSLE T-score of less than 190 produced an MSG of 4.3 at the same stage last year, for a set of paper that was slightly more tricky and difficult. and yet, on friday, there is going to be a slamming session mtg for us to explain what went wrong with the prelims, and i cant say anything else except the fact that i didnt inspire them enough. (but, my teachers didnt need to beg me to study. i knew i must study because its my future.)

Amma, im tired. in the end, i know ive done everything within my ability. its tough to carry on when only one party is trying and the other isnt. its tough to carry on when ppl think the results are bad because you didnt do enough.

but i will push through this year. even if everyday is a struggle, i wont give up.

and so here is my prayer.

please give me strength to pull myself together because there are definitely students to deserve my attention. these kids have tried, are trying, deserve my attention to move them up to the next grade.

please give me the mental resilience to pull through all the disappointments. for those who really dont care, i dont see the need to care.

please give me the ability to teach then in the easiest possible way for them to learn. maybe i didnt teach well enough. but this 1 mth is the last chance i have to ensure that they know everything that’s going to be tested.

please give me energy to handle 4 more weeks of 13 hrs of work in sch and 3 hrs of work at home. im going to be out of sleep and moody. and maybe just angry at anything else other than what im supposed to do. just these 4 mths. after that, im converting to one of those ppl who knows that family always comes first and if the students dont study hard enough, its their loss. i dont need to sacrifice family and personal time to beg ppl to study.

please teach me to be patient with those who couldnt be bothered previously, but are not starting to wake up.

please create a miracle, because thats what they need now. perhaps a wake up call. or an inkling of an interest to have an aim.

thank you.

 
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Posted by on September 15, 2011 in i-Pray, i-Sad, i-Teach, i-Wish

 

aspirations of students and teachers

the recent spate of mess in sch is leaving me kinda aimless and distracted. im with a lack of focus.

it was all fine, starting with the N level prelims. but then the mess of CT (which i thought would last till friday, but it didnt) and the start of O level prelims and the keying in of N level prelims results into cockpit and the submission of my O level prelim papers coupled with the marking of sec 1/3 CT and the start of intensive revision with 4NA (all within these 2 weeks) has really left me feeling lost.

somehow it feels like unless i have an urgent exam, nothing else is impt. i am falling back on all other non-student related admin work. haiz…. i really shouldnt be this rebellious. but to say that ive lost interest in adhereing to deadlines pertaining to anything non-student related would be an understatement.

what makes me really happy is seeing the kids feel satisfied with their results. the O level MTL results came out on thursday, and as many of us jumped to see the results at 10am, we heard complains abt some students not achieving their supposed targets. we also felt sheer joy at seeing some of the very hard working students get A1s.

in the end, what makes a teacher most happy is seeing her students motivated to aim high and work towards their targets and be a genuinely nice person who inspires others. so we were really happy for those who deserved the distinctions.

and for those who did put in your best effort and did achieve your targets, be it a distinction, or a pass, congratulations!! as long as your best satisfied you. :)

the N level exams are up next. and sometimes i wonder how the weaker students are going to make it through. i hope they do their best. and then, once again, it’ll be time for the O level results in jan. with ppl applying for DSAs and DPAs, the next phase of their lives will be yet another challenge. in fact, “the best is yet to be” :)

a new experience, new challenges, new friends with ppl from different sch cultures, the need to adapt to the non-spoon feeding educators (which is what educators should be like. but unfortunately, results mean so much to some ppl that we end up telling them things that they should rightfully be discovering.)

i saw my babies in limbang mac a couple of weeks ago on a saturday night. to say i was heart warmed is just the least of it. they’d have no idea how proud of them i was, hearing them say, “cher of course must study lah! we target GPA 4 you know! we want to go uni” these ppl aspire to make something out of their lives. i am genuinely proud of them. :D they are on track.

what else could be better when the students aspirations to become someone in life is actually on track/realised.

in the staffroom, we always say, “its as if we are the ones going for the exams!!!”  well, the teachers are working hard, just as hard as the students are. ultimately better results will benefit the students, giving them a wider range of courses they can consider. so i hope the students will continue to aspire, set dreams and goals to achieve and put in their best effort to realise their dreams.

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i wish this batch of graduating students all the best. no matter how tired we are, this is the time to push! we will make it through!

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2011 in i-Reflect, i-Teach

 

something up with me?

ppl have been asking if i was doing fine. and ive been wondering why. last week when i was in a good mood, someone impt msgs my RO to ask if i was ok. and i was shocked, wondering why she would ask on a week where my mood was fantastic. someone also asked my colleague whether i was fine. this morning someone came to ask me.

today? i agree…. i started my day with a frown and i think i still have a tiny remain of a frown on my forehead.

actually, i think im just starting to get nervous with my classes. the 4NA maths prelims are tmr and the day after tmr. they arent ready. the 4exp and 5na prelims start right after the National Day week. and i doubt they are ready. i am nervous. cos i dont really know how close they are to getting ready. after doing a series of topical revision, today, by a stroke of ingenuity, i decided to give my 5na a paper to try and suddenly, i see many ppl struggling to answer the questions. im freaking out. later im giving the 4exp the paper too.. seriously. i think  most ppl are not ready..

i am seriously worried.

 
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Posted by on August 1, 2011 in i-Teach

 

mid-night-laughs

like i mentioned, signs from heaven are falling on me………….. haha….


received this in email just now and i paused at this page for abt 5 min, wondering how i was supposed to react to this…………. and i actually started considering what my expected salary would be……. lol……… to think that i could end up in this position.

 
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Posted by on April 7, 2011 in i-Teach

 

Protected: they killed the passion of a very passionate teacher

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Posted by on February 17, 2011 in i-Sad, i-Teach

 

Protected: times when you feel you are not good enough

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Posted by on October 14, 2010 in i-Sad, i-Teach

 

my best + your best = our best

and so the countdown begins..

7 days to N levels and 24 days to O levels……

gonna pick up my energy and boost my way through! we can do it ppl! im gonna do it! there’s no other time, no excuses, no second chances. we will do it right the first time!

 
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Posted by on September 27, 2010 in i-Teach, i-Want

 

30 days of hell

a student correctly described how i felt abt the upcoming mountainous challenge ahead.

“sounds like it’s going to be a month of hell” he said.

and i said, “it’s going to be a month of hell”

sec 4 and 5. and inbetween, the not-so-impt sec 1 and 3.

ive got one student on holiday in another country. i asked her friend why, and she said, “cher… we also need a break you know” and i stared at her, wide-eyed, in utter shock.

“you need a break in between your N level papers!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?”

no comments. seriously.

someone mentioned to me “if students dont study, what can you do?” and i thought to myself, if students dont study, there’s nothing much i can do.

but…………. i cant stop doing things just because students dont study.

and you know what, i’ll squeeze every ounce of energy, every last drop of sweat, every second of the time i have to drive them through this one month.

after my papers end, rest assured that i will fall sick. but hey, what does it matter. just that, if i have to do this every single year, i might die of hypertension sooner than i think.

its going to be a month of hell. cheers to that stan.

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2010 in i-Teach, i-Wish

 
 
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