its what i pray everyday that i wont have to hear.

over the last 2 days, i heard ill-fated news from 2 friends from uni. the kind i pray i wont have to hear with regards to me.

one guy’s grandmom passed away, the funeral was yesterday. he was close to her. she was old and he says it was probably coming, but still, a close relation lost is still someone lost forever.

another girl’s dad passed away, suddenly, yesterday. he was young, had no indications of illness. she got call from her mom and her face just changed immediately. she broke down. she flew back to the US today.

how can anyone handle such news, just 3 weeks into the start of uni? ppl come over expecting life to be fantastic. for these young adults, its like the time of their life. and news like this comes.

what can you say to her? a young 21 yr old girl loses a parent. forever. what does that mean????

its what i pray everyday that i wont have to hear.

cos even at my age, i dont think i can handle that.

 

Protected: first day of 2012

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

 

heavy hearted

tonight i lie in bed, wondering how im going to leave this place without finding a solution for the one who’s crying quietly in the next room.

 

passing on

not that i have faced many deaths among ppl i know. i surely dont really know how to behave in a funeral home. do i smile at them? do i have to cry? i mean, i’m sad for their loss, but crying seemed like pretense. i quickly erased the acknowledgement smile from my face and instead directly asked where her body was placed.

she lay there on a saree-wrapped mattress. her portrait on a table ahead of her. garlands around her neck and body. we could hear prayer music chanting “Om Nama Shivaya“. the smell of incense. i stood there looking at her embalmed body, looked real.

it wasnt like the typical scene you’ll find in tamil movies, where all the ladies will be beating their chests and wailing abt why she (the dead person) didnt take them (the wailing ppl) with her. but i could see almost everyone’s eyes was red from crying. when i asked someone if everyone was ok, she said, “what to do, we are all controlling ourselves”. it was a redundant question, but what was i do say???? “dont worry?” “keep strong?” that sounds really hypocritical isnt it?

i placed some loose flowers on her leg and touched the legs, and went to sit by a corner. everyone was quiet, sad, with very little body movement from anyone other than those trinkling in to the home. now and then, someone almost burst into tears, but controlled herself quickly. and i just had no idea how i was supposed to behave.

finally my mom asked how she passed away. and the story goes that she was still talking normally in the morning, she still remembered those who visited her, but 10 min before she passed on, her breathing seemed funny. the doc told the family to inform everyone. but, 10 min obviously wasnt enough for relatives to arrive. she had had lung cancer for quite a while, and it was only detected when she was into her 3rd stage. treatments didnt work significantly, and the cancerous cells slowly spread. she died, but she died easily.

i was never really that close to her. i know her, and i know her genuineness. i also know she meant every blessing she gave me, more than my own paternal grandparents ever did. each time i met her, she’ll put her hand on my head and wish the best for me. she hugged all her sons/daughters son/daughter-in laws, nieces, nephews and made everyone feel loved.

death, is a sure loss for everyone. especially for those who have been around them for long. as i looked at her face, knowing that her children would never see her talking or hugging or blessing another being again, i also felt a bit sad. while death comes to all, accepting death is something that many of us dont deal very well with. i keep wondering how i’d react if someone i loved died. and i keep getting the image that i’ll turn hysterical. i dont know. but i know im really not very good at losing ppl. and yet, we cant keep worrying abt tmr when there’s so many things we can achieve by focusing on the present.

i keep wondering what ppl will say abt me when they know ive died. its a question ive had for a long long time. and i often wish after i died, my soul will be able to hear what ppl had to say abt my existence on earth. maybe our souls do hear what others say, maybe they dont. who knows…. but one thing is for sure, everyday, we are closer to dying, and everyday someone is achieving something. so lets not complain abt what we dont have, and instead work towards what we could have if we aim to achieve it…

To my childhood friend’s father’s sister: 

thank you for the memories you have created. for your sincerity and genuineness, i know you will be badly missed by those who love you. rest in peace. 

will be heading down to the cemetery tmr, for the first burial service in my life.

as time passes and older generation around me get older, there will be more deaths to come. i hope i can handle the deaths instead of crumble……..

 

“Dolphins are always smiling; it is nature’s greatest deception” Mr Ric O’ Barry

many many months have passed since the campaign went public. on Sunday, Ric O’ Barry touched down at Changi Airport to spend a few days here explaining the need for the campaign and hoping that RWS will at least have a chat with him. on tuesday, ACRES arranged for a dialogue session with him. well, the truth is, as excited as i was, having this wonderful once in a lifetime opportunity to meet this man, i knew we were gathering for a very sad reason. and just like what was mentioned during the Biodiversity Symposium, the target audience we would have loved to see wasnt there. members of the public who dont know what this issue is all about should have turned up. fans of RWS who wonder why some of us are petitioning for the release of the 25 miserable dolphins should have turned up. but yet again, it was those who didnt need convincing who turned up.

many of us have been writing to RWS for replies addressing the concerns we have over the plight of the remaining dolphins. Ric wrote a letter too. not one, not two. and yet, RWS claims they never received the letters. ACRES wrote in to RWS asking for a mtg. RWS declined a mtg with him, saying it felt no need for a debate. well, we know they have something to hide because they refuse to alleviate our concerns by answering the questions.we know they have something to hide.

ACRES has evidence of how dolphin training is happening in the tiny enclosure before it is brought to RWS in 2012. this is what RWS needs to do to train the dolphins before they appear in front of the millions of inhumane audiences who smile at them being tortured.

dolphins are social creatures. once again, i say, they NEED vast oceans to swim the distances and at that speeds. they do flips and turns and blow bubbles and play with things, but NOT at the instruction of the trainers who refuse to feed them unless they do the tricks. they are deprived of the sounds/currents/interaction they get in the wild. “the primary sense of dolphins is sounds. putting them in a concrete box is a sensory deprivation” they said there will be no dolphin shows, but they said there will be exercise sessions for dolphins which the visitors to RWS can see. why twist words when the ultimate objective is still to get ppl to pay money to watch dolphins? so tell me which part of dolphins shows does not reek of animal cruelty? “Why would they go forward with such a bad idea that is so obviously wrong?”

Even CNN covered the news.

yet RWS does not want to reply to the concerns raised. why hide if they are sure that their cause of captive dolphins is for education and conservation is ethical? “Real education is about knowing all the reasons and making an educated decision” so here’s pleading RWS to have a discussion, learn the concerns and consequences and make the right ethical decision.

ppl did ask whether dolphins stand a better chance living longer when kept captive. well, the reply was that if you were to be stuck in a room (you cant leave, obviously) with food delivered to you everyday. you would survive. there’s no question about that. surviving is not an issue. but surely you’d want to go out for a walk someday. talk to friends perhaps. enjoy the wind. so, “dolphins may survive in captivity. but its not about the quantity of life.. its the quality of life that matters.” 

and for those who think that they might never have the opportunity to see dolphins upclose. well, there are ALOT of animals you might not get to see upclose he said. does it mean that everytime you want to see an animal from the wild, you got to capture it and bring it down and cage it up and exhibit it? ppl got to learn to curb their demands. there has to be a balance between interest and what can be achieved. a positive example of how wild animals can be enjoyed is whale watching. it seems that more money has been made from whale watching tours than killing whales through all the years of history.

dolphins are one of the most intelligent animals and they should NOT be kept captive. it is pure animal torture and is totally unethical. Ric described it as one of Nature’s Greatest Deception, that the dolphins are always appearing as though they are smiling. but in fact, they are under alot of stress. stress that could lead them to death. and 2 have already died.

RWS has already made alot of money in the first half of this year (S$500m if i remember correctly), and they made this much without having the dolphins around. and they will continue to make this much without the dolphins. they dont need the dolphins to make money. so i think now it is just a matter of who wins this fight. and we need help. staying silent does not help. if you understand the situation and realise that captive dolphins is pure animal torture, then speak up.

1) write to RWS (politely) and ask them to release the dolphins.

2) boycott RWS

3) spread the word to ppl you know, make them understand.

4) post on FB, take the photo petition, sign the petition

5) follow the website for latest updates

do something (legally of course).

MasterCard which had announced discounted prices to RWS has taken it back. and has said that it does NOT support the marine life park at RWS.

“one brick at a time” said Ric. and we hope that too. as consumers, if we refuse to pay for the ticket to the MLP, they will lose money and be forced to reverse the situation. we do have the power.

please help to support the cause. dolphins are meant to be in the wild. it makes no sense that ppl can sit at seats and clap at dolphins being tortured. please spread the world.

RWS, please let the dolphins go!

*the bold statements were said by Ric O’ Barry and Louis Ng. 

 

the following are media coverage of the Ric O’Barry’s Visit

Asian Scientist

The Online Citizen

Yahoo News

Pets Magazine

Singapore Press Holdings

 

 

 

 

 

my prayer tonight

Dear Amma,

i asked myself this question yesterday. “which is more important? family or students?”

the answer was obvious. family.

so why am i not spending equal (if not more) time with my family than i do with students?

on monday, when i called my mom and told her i wasnt going home for dinner, she rebuted, “work, home, work, home. is this life?” i kept quiet. she was pissed at me. but i really had work to do that i couldnt just not do. and my colleague couldnt understand why being so old already, i still feel the need to inform my parents what time i was going home/whether i wanted dinner/etc. well, my mom’s not a teacher. she doesnt know how much work we do behind the scenes, and quite frankly, no one who’s not a teacher would know. but i know she’s lonely and sad. should i wait until its too late to spend time with her? why do we always assume that our loved ones will be there tomorrow?

today, i go to school and return the horrible prelim papers. after i return the results, i see some ppl smiling as they walk out of the classroom. the class MSGs were 6.1 and 6.5 respectively. i dont understand how they can smile, when a few of us were close to tears in the staffroom. at a total loss of how to help those who dont bother abt helping themselves.

i know i told myself to get pumped up and face this term with the most energy i have. but, seemingly, trying to remove the frown on my face is sapping my energy dry. and yet, i have to dig the deepest ive ever had to find the energy to have IP coaching from 3 to 6pm everyday from monday to friday and until 12pm on saturday. even i think its ridiculous and i dont know why im doing it (i just think thats what im supposed to do). while the students might not realise that this means that i actually have to start doing my own work after 6pm, i find myself questioning why its so important that i try to improve their grades.

i never wanted to be one of those teachers whose ultimate aim was to have the best MSG for herself. but you know what, if the collective results of students with PSLE T-score of 230+ produced a fail grade of 6.1, something is wrong somewhere. and i know its not because i didnt do enough. because a class of students with PSLE T-score of less than 190 produced an MSG of 4.3 at the same stage last year, for a set of paper that was slightly more tricky and difficult. and yet, on friday, there is going to be a slamming session mtg for us to explain what went wrong with the prelims, and i cant say anything else except the fact that i didnt inspire them enough. (but, my teachers didnt need to beg me to study. i knew i must study because its my future.)

Amma, im tired. in the end, i know ive done everything within my ability. its tough to carry on when only one party is trying and the other isnt. its tough to carry on when ppl think the results are bad because you didnt do enough.

but i will push through this year. even if everyday is a struggle, i wont give up.

and so here is my prayer.

please give me strength to pull myself together because there are definitely students to deserve my attention. these kids have tried, are trying, deserve my attention to move them up to the next grade.

please give me the mental resilience to pull through all the disappointments. for those who really dont care, i dont see the need to care.

please give me the ability to teach then in the easiest possible way for them to learn. maybe i didnt teach well enough. but this 1 mth is the last chance i have to ensure that they know everything that’s going to be tested.

please give me energy to handle 4 more weeks of 13 hrs of work in sch and 3 hrs of work at home. im going to be out of sleep and moody. and maybe just angry at anything else other than what im supposed to do. just these 4 mths. after that, im converting to one of those ppl who knows that family always comes first and if the students dont study hard enough, its their loss. i dont need to sacrifice family and personal time to beg ppl to study.

please teach me to be patient with those who couldnt be bothered previously, but are not starting to wake up.

please create a miracle, because thats what they need now. perhaps a wake up call. or an inkling of an interest to have an aim.

thank you.

 

Protected: all these family issues

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

 

the old uncles and old aunties

its a issue many of us dont want to acknowledge. at the back of our minds, we must have all wondered at some point in time, and yet, we pretend not to notice, or pretend to be oblivious.

today, in school, while i was invigilating outside the classroom, a saw an old man walk out of the toilet carrying 2 large NTUC plastic bags. ive never seen him in sch before. i faced him, wanting to give a smile and a nod of acknowledgement, but he never looked at me. his head was down and he quietly walked past. at some point in time, i felt uncomfortable, and i looked down as well.

maybe he was thinking of what else he needed to finish up in sch. maybe he was thinking of when he could rest from his tiring day at work. maybe he was feeling unappreciated and had learnt not to expect ppl to acknowledge his presence (and therefore, there wasnt any need to look at the younger generation). maybe he felt stigmatised (embarrassed perhaps) having to walk past 2 and a half class full of students who had everything to live for while he was awaiting his last day? how would he have felt? an old man who has served his youthful years to the country and expected a dignified retirement, and yet he ended up in that state where he had to clean toilets for a living.

we can assume all we want, but, we’ll never understand how they feel. when old uncles and aunties have to do cleaning up jobs after us. in school, when they clear our rubbish bins. in the kopitiams where they clear out dirty plates and tables. at the back alley of coffee shops where they have to wash utensils. in posh restaurants where they have to clean toilets. to be honest, these are jobs that need to be done. but, i’d never want my mom/dad to do it. its not that it isnt a prestigious job. (i mean, it isnt… but) its a tiresome job. and basically, i wouldnt want my mom to be cleaning up after ppl. its a job that requires quite a bit of mental resilience on top of toughing it out everyday, smelling stinky things and cleaning dirty things. having to deal with irresponsible ppl who dont put the chicken bones back onto their plates after they are done with it. or ppl who just throw rubbish anywhere.

but thats besides the point. why are these ppl even working? they should be enjoying retirement. granted that there are those who have worked all their lives and still want to continue to work. these ppl should continue. but then there are those who are obligated to work because they dont have children supporting them anymore, for one reason or the other. im not good with the impact of policies and all, but im wondering why the country hasnt done something to alleviate this issue. or maybe she has. but, all i seem to remember is that the govt said to encourage working for as long as the person can work. i mean……. why should ppl have to work at old age? its different if they want to work.

maybe they didnt want ppl exploiting tax payers money. maybe because it really is an aging population in sg and with increasing number of children abandoning their parents, this seems to be the only way out. all that stuff abt keeping your mind stimulated? well, i think time with their old uncle/auntie friends, mahjong games, kopi sessions or fishing time would be a much healthier option than picking up litter isnt it?

not quite sure what im trying to say in this post, but, i just feel that these ppl are often forgotten. it wouldnt take us much effort to smile at them, and yet so many ppl dont do it. all because they are preoccupied with their own business. as it is, they are doing a tedious job. i guess these uncles and aunties will be alot happier if we just paid a little more attention to them on a regular basis. genuinely.

i make the effort to say hi to them and give a big smile (no matter how sucky my day goes), and i think there are many other teachers who do too. and it makes them feel appreciated. i hope we will rub it off the students too.

say a little thank you to the auntie who cleans the table for you at the kopitiam. or help the cleaner when the rubbish bin gets too full. wave a little “hi” when you walk past the cleaner whose resting on the bench after a tough day. making the world a better place does begin with us.

on a separate note, i hope none of you will abandon your parents. its the most evil thing you can do to the person who brought you up.

 

Protected: its not her fault…

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

 

ACRES response to RWS statements on captive dolphins

(I am including this here cos i want this to reach out to more people….. please understand the cruelty that RWS is inflicting on these mammals which really actually ought to be left where they are at their best)

“RWS’ statements are in bold…

There will always be differences in views regarding captive animals in zoological organizations, but we believe that well-run facilities providing strong conservation takeaways make a tangible difference to animal conservation.

ACRES in-principle is not against the keeping of animals in captivity but we must focus on keeping animals that can cope with captivity. ACRES and over 7,000 people that have joined us in this campaign are not campaigning for the closure of the Marine Life Park. We agree that zoos have an important role to play but again, we are calling for RWS to focus on housing species which can cope with captivity and to also run an attraction that can indeed play a proper role in education and in-situ conservation.

Dolphins (and whales) are the only grouping of animals which governments have banned zoos from keeping in captivity. Progressive countries such as Chile and Costa Rica have banned the capture and display of dolphins, recognising that these animals belong in the vast open oceans.

We should also note that and learn from other country’s experiences. Mexican Senator Jorge Legorreta Ordorica (Chairman, Committee of Environment, Natural Resources and Fisheries) was so dismayed at the plans of RWS that he wrote to Singapore’s National Development Minister about it. Senator Jorge wrote that Mexico’s international reputation was dented as a result of its importing 28 Solomon Islands dolphins in 2003. At least 12 of the dolphins have since died.

“Mexico’s experience with this single import led to our government imposing an outright ban on importation and exportation of live cetaceans for entertainment purposes and this ban is still in place,” the Mexican senator said. He urged Singapore to consider Mexico’s experience and ‘the disturbing mortality’ of the animals when evaluating applications for the permits to import such dolphins.

In the United States alone, over 150 million guests pass through aquaria and zoo facilities each year. Reports and testimonials have shown that zoos and marine parks have inspired personalities to illustrious careers in animal care, conservation and veterinary science. While television documentaries and other media play a great role in creating awareness, deeply personal encounters with the animals – learning about their behavior, care and needs of species from their caregivers first hand – have shown great impact on fostering awareness and advancing protection of the species.

Since RWS is using the United States as an example, it should also follow the progressive example set by other facilities in the United States with regard to dolphin captures. In the late 1980s, facilities in the United States implemented a voluntary moratorium on collection of bottlenose dolphins from the wild, and this remains in place.

As mentioned above, we do agree that zoos have an important education role to play but it must walk the talk and must focus on ethical practices both in terms of animal care and animal acquisition.

In addition, the reality is: What can RWS really teach its visitors about dolphin protection? Would it not be an irony and contradiction for RWS to ask their visitors to protect dolphins when they themselves obtained 27 individual dolphins from the wild and two have now died?

Scientific data over the past decades point to the fact that bottlenose dolphins can thrive within marine parks. Dolphins in parks have lived in excess of 40 years, double the average life span of dolphins in the wild. Dolphins in the wild do not enjoy a totally carefree life; they fight for survival from predators, fishing boats, and pollution. Dolphins have also bred successfully in marine parks, an important measure of successful adaption of dolphins to human care. Today, the success of these breeding programmes provides us with valuable insight and knowledge into the propagation of this and other marine mammal species.

If the above was true, why didn’t RWS acquire their dolphins from captive sources but instead bought dolphins caught from the wild. It is true that wild dolphins do not enjoy a carefree life but they do enjoy freedom and the choice of where to go, what to eat (live fish), who to socialise with and they will not be forced to perform behaviours they don’t want to do.

Marine parks the world over provide an important source of not just funding, but expertise for marine mammal science. These facilities engage in constant exchange of knowledge and expertise. Most have established laboratories, veterinary care and husbandry practices, in addition to contributing heavily to a host of of marine mammal research and conservation projects that exist today. Established parks are an important generator of long-term, structured and sustained efforts to advance marine mammal science, which range from field research and water quality studies, to reproduction and physiology, as well as rescue rehabilitation.

The RWS Marine Life Park (MLP) has been developed along the preceding principles. It is designed to exceed international standards for animal care and welfare, and is working towards international accreditation in those areas. Dolphins die in facilities, as they do in the wild. We do not take death, or even illnesses, of our animals lightly. We were deeply saddened by the loss of two dolphins to a water and air-borne bacterial infection last year. No medical expense or effort was spared but we could not save them.

Marine parks are indeed an important source of funding and RWS should focus on funding in-situ conservation work (in the wild) instead of contributing to one of the threats dolphins face in the wild.

According to the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN), a leading authority on the environment and sustainable development, the threats facing the Indo-Pacific bottlenose dolphins include live capture for oceanariums.

Furthermore, catching more dolphins might drive species such as the Indo-Pacific bottlenose dolphin towards extinction. IUCN states that “their preference (Indo-Pacific bottlenose dolphins) as a captive display species makes them vulnerable to depletion from such catches.”

If dolphins can thrive in captivity, why then did 2 of RWS wild-caught dolphins die? The explanation should not just be dolphins die in the wild as well.

RWS has stated that they have “a world-class team of experienced professionals and animal experts” and it is their “mission to provide our animals with top-class care, and to treat them with respect.”

RWS has also stated that “its dolphin enclosure will ‘far exceed’ internationally recognised minimum space requirements for the animals” and that “care and well-being of the dolphins are of paramount importance”.

RWS further mentioned that bottlenose dolphins “are very adaptable to living in controlled environments”.

ACRES has consistently reminded RWS of the difficulty in keeping dolphins in captivity. Despite our appeal, RWS went ahead and purchased wild-caught dolphins. Two of the dolphins (in Langkawi), of the species which RWS had stated is “very adaptable to living in controlled environments”, have now died.

We should also remember that RWS housed the dolphins in appalling conditions in Langkawi during training. The dolphin enclosures failed to meet the European Association for Aquatic Mammals Standards for Establishments Housing Bottlenose Dolphins.

The enclosures failed in terms of: Not meeting minimum pool dimensions, poor maintenance, failure to provide shelter, excessive noise, poor water quality, not having sufficient/adhered to emergency procedures and not having a sufficient/adhered to programme of measures for illness prevention and control.

Besides the small size of the enclosures, the location of the enclosures was a major concern. The location was completely unsuitable for dolphins due to the high boat traffic (from a jetty and a private marina).”

please support this cause. RWS will get its profit even without having captive dolphins.