Category Archives: i-Reflect
I am mountain, I am dust
Constellations made of us
There’s glory in the dirt
A universe within the sand
Eternity within a man
~lyrics by Gungor~
i recently had a conversation with a stranger abt extra-marital affairs. he said, “ppl do it as a stress-relief”. i’ve never seen it in that light until that instance when he made that statement. husbands go home to a nagging wife who complains all evening abt how she has to do bla bla bla. the husband chooses not to respond because he’s already tired of years and years of blabbering….. when it gets to such a state, perhaps the route many choose is to be immoral. and like The SB said, “regret later”.
ppl dont become like that overnight. its a long process and when an attractive opportunity comes along, its a great way to escape. its sad that things get to such a state. perhaps instead of blaming either party, both sides should prevent such a situation with proper communication and emotional transparency. and perhaps more importantly, self-awareness of how an individual’s behaviour is affecting the relationship. it does take 2 to clap.
my cousin recently found out that her husband is having an affair. poor girl. now she has ppl who are on both sides of the ‘next step’. neither does she have the ability to make a decision on her own. ppl in different parts of the world have grown up with different ideas and thoughts and perceptions of how a girl should be. she tells me, “it depends on the girl whether the marriage is happy”. i tell her, “it depends on BOTH the girl and guy”. ppl have and will start to blame her for her possibly failed marriage. frankly im tired of this female-blaming culture. if the girls themselves dont take a stand, nothing much will change and the society will continue this abuse. i wont fall victim to this.
also just read an article abt the ‘last statements’ of a few criminal who were on the death row.
one of the last statements read:
“Yes, Love you mom, love you pop, love you Sara, and Amanda. Um, Cathy you know I never meant to hurt you. I gave you everything and that’s what made me so angry. But I didn’t mean to hurt you. I am sorry. That’s it.”
it takes alot of mental strength to walk away from converting that murderous thought into action. alot of mental strength to restrain from doing something which you might later regret. like that The SB said abt extra-marital affairs. thats all it comes down to isnt it. wait out the emotion and think beyond what you are feeling at the immediate instance before deciding on an act.
at the end of the day, thats all it boils down to isnt it? to be interested in the other person to engage them sincerely in conversations that bring the relationship forward…
today dad’s car wheel was flat. i helped him change the wheel when i saw him struggling and getting breathless. sweat dripping down his bare chest, panting with strain on his face. he used to be a strong man. carrying heavy stuff, doing carpentry, lifting cargo….
im not all that close to my dad and we may have our differences, but…….. seeing that man i knew was physically capable become physically less capable shits me up. like crazy shits me up.
mom’s getting old too and is much less able than she was previously.
im feeling very lost with my future options. lost between choosing to live my life and living for parents. can there be a compromise between those?