seemingly the environment i grew up in made me kind of a pessimistic person. to me, happy families mostly only exist in dreams. dont get me wrong.. i love my parents and bro. i do. and i know they love me too.
happy families are families that have joy in their heart. they do things for each other, care, play, scold……… i mean, they want to do it. they embrace strangers with a full heart, not having any misgivings abt them and just trusting that the others will be just as nice. i never really see such families very often. to me, almost everyone has an agenda. and to me, nobody really cares much abt the other person, unless you are an immediate family member (which then creates an entire new dimension of ‘you have to care for them’). to me, no one really genuinely cares abt how you are doing. and if they do ask, then its really just for formalities sake. to me, welcoming strangers into a family and calling them their own after getting acquainted isnt something that most ppl do. perhaps my thoughts are the result of the environment i grew up in.
this family i see today, i wish i was sitting behind some wall which only allows me to see them… they interacted with each other. both sides of the in-laws. welcoming the other family with open arms. the father in law i see is really just a nice principled man. no child could do wrong with such a father. the mother is so energetic and lively, she just springs out life. everyone hugs everyone, touches each other caringly, and ive not seen such human-human contact in the longest time. its really quite pleasant. perhaps ive been out of touch for too long.
and while i was reflecting on what went wrong with my family, i saw their grandparents with arms over each other. an indian (grand) couple. who still feel shy with each other. and then i think of my paternal grandparents who really dont care abt how the other one is doing, and my maternal grandparents who still care for each other but dont show their love. they dont express how much they love each other. i guess, it must be the environment they grew up in.
while i saw the relatives readily making friends with the new in laws today, i thought, good ppl continue to make friends with good ppl. no one really wants to do harm to a nice family. so maybe thats where it starts, just be genuinely nice to ppl, without being afraid that they might walk over you… maybe? who knows. why my family turned out like this and why theirs didnt… to think we’ve not genuinely smiled to each other for over 9 years is quite a sad notion… but i still love them..
i really dont know what else to say. seeing today, i realise that there might be at least a few families who enjoys the company of each other……. if i ever do get married, i want to get married into a family that’s as warm as them.
i wish my friend all the best on his last day of bachelorhood… my childhood friend for 28 years, my very best wishes for you! and im really glad you found your family a great set of in-laws…